The guilt of working mothers is a well-known phenomenon and something that a lot has been written about. Guilt about not being home enough, leaving your baby behind, not being able to dedicate enough time or attention etc. etc. Therefore the end of one´s maternity leave is usually being feared and every day that passes bringing her closer to that first working day makes mommy more and more nervous and already pre-guilty.
After a lot of internal debating, here we are: my very first blog post. Iehh, yes I am really doing this! Just fyi, part of this discussion with myself kind of went like this:
- When you were younger you really loved writing stories and little books. Don’t deny it, I found your folder with handwritten stories in your old room.
Yesss, but maybe I didn´t do anything with those stories for a reason. Besides what should I write about?
- As a brand new mommy that just went back to work every day is a new adventure of trying to keep calm amidst complete chaos. And all of that in a country that is culturally pretty different than yours, plenty to write about don´t you think?
Ok, but who wants to read about my daily struggles or observations as a Northern European “guiri” in the South? I mean, why would you read that?
- Well, your friends and family keep asking you how motherhood is treating you, how you´re managing with full-time work and a baby, how it is to live far away from your own family etc etc. Just see it as an update that you only have to write once.
I am still a little scared to throw it all out here and sort of putting my life online but hey, let´s just do this. So here we are, my online “diary” as a working mom trying to organise two busy schedules (yes, we´re really high-fiving at the door when taking turns) / the house (unbelievable but even with a baby the house is already a mess 24/7, what will happen when he gets older?!) / m y body (where the f do i find the time to go to the gym?? Or cook healthy?)/ life in general…
Don´t worry, this is not going to be the typical baby blog where I keep smooching about how beautiful life as a mother is, the huge pink cloud I am on, how fantastically everything is always going. No way! We Dutchies are known for being direct (or “feared” according to some of my colleagues ..) and in addition I think there are already loads of blogs out there if you want to read about “pinky-everything-is-perfect-motherhood”, so that´s also how I intend to write about it because let´s be honest, this is sometimes also freaking hard!
Stay tuned for a real first post next time!