A few months after the bichin was born someone gave me a (Dutch) book called “This is the book for parents with a life” (Dit is het boek voor ouders met een leven) which in a brutally honest and direct way describes how radically your life is going to change. Boy, I wished I had read this before becoming a mom!
The book starts with a checklist where you can score yourself to see if you´re ready to be a mom. I loved loved this checklist, so in this post I will translate part of it to
English so if you´re still having doubts whether you´re ready or not, follow this 8-step plan and check for yourself:
Step 1: Get your boobs out
Walk around an entire day with one naked boob, even if your father in law is around.
Step 2: Get used to crying
Put on really loud music, the type of music that annoys you. Shower and get dressed as soon as possible, stuff your breakfast in, and go to the toilet. This is how it will feel more or less to get that done when your baby is crying his heart out…
Step 3: Simulate the new laundry situation
Collect three weeks of underwear and socks, put them in the washing machine and then hang them piece by piece. Do this every day for a week.
Step 4: Get outside with a diaper bag
Pack a bag as if you´re going backpacking 3 months through Latin America and leave the house for an hour. Do this three times a day.
Step 5: Social Isolation part
Write an email to your friends apologizing that you will hardly see them the next years. Say sorry for all the nights of dancing and drinking that you will be missing.
Step 6: Sleep deprivation training
Ask your husband to put the alarm of your phone at three unexpected moments during the night and make sure that you put the noise level up so you can´t sleep through it.
Step 7: Functioning with a child on a hip
Tie one hand with a tie-wrap to your pants, so that you have one hand left to clean the house, prepare your lunch, get dressed, go to the bathroom etc.
Step 8: Cook for a family
Get groceries at the supermarket for a nice and healthy meal. Put all your love into preparing this meal for your family, place it on a nice plate and let your husband throw it on the floor while screaming that he doesn´t like it.
If you think you can handle all of this, you´re probably ready to be a mom!
This list was adjusted and translated to English from the book “Dit is het boek voor ouders met een leven” van Barbara van Erp and Femke Sterken.