Remember that time when you went to work all dressed up and looking fab? That time when you took a shower in the morning before work, blow-dried your hair, tweaked your hair a bit more with the straightener, put on some make-up, had breakfast and left for the office. High heels, awesome dress with pencil skirt, prepared and ready to rock the day.
Remember that time that you thought you were in charge, when you had it all under control? Your life, your sports schedule, your house, your work, your friends. That time when you were a great planner and made sure that everything that had to be done just happened. When you remembered important milestones in your friends´ lives and were prepared for them with a nice card or little detail.
Remember that time you saw sleep as a commodity? That time when you could go out all out night and still appear somewhat fresh at work the next day? When you would claim “I will sleep when I am old” (or “slapen kan altijd nog” in Dutch). When you thought you could do everything.
Well, news flash, that time is over and might never come back.
Going to work all dressed up and looking fab? Yeah right, nowadays I am happy if I appear in the office with a matching pair of shoes and without puke stains. Showering and blow-drying my hair before work? That hasn´t happened once yet since I am back to work. I try (yes, you read it correctly “try”) to shower the night before and then my hair goes up in a bun on my head and basically (shame on me) I don´t touch it anymore until the next shower. So yeah, I sleep with that same bun and when I get-up I don´t even look at my hair and go straight to the office. And the straightener is probably straightening all the dust in the closet. High heels and a pencil skirt? Seriously, the change from yoga pants, a wide shirt and sneakers to that fancy look is way too big, so if I get into a normal pants with a clean shirt and a jacket that´s already a big effort.
In charge? Can you ever really be in charge with a little kid? You can do all the planning you want, but it will always go different. In addition, the house is standard a mess and even if you make the effort of cleaning up a little bit, then it´s time to eat for the bichin and his favorite game right now is blowing with his mouth full of food. So yeah, that cleaning up is basically a waste of time. Add toys everywhere and well, in charge of the house is history. In charge of work? Ehm, where to start. Always running behind the facts and never enough time to do both, let´s keep it at that. Social life and friends? That starts in Spain after 9/10pm, so yeah often I miss all the fun because by that time I am usually passed out already. And sports schedule, I pass to even comment here. So in control of the whole situation!
Sleep a commodity? Sleep is the most scarce good on earth now! The baby that sleeps through the night is still a myth in this house so let´s see that I am in a permanent state of sleep deprivation. So even if I would have wanted to wear those heels mentioned above… might be impossible to survive the day in my sleepy state and not break something.